Wednesday, February 27, 2008

The Juno Flu

Remember that scene from Juno, where our title gal is drinking large gulps of Sunny D and staring persistently and meaningfully at The Sex Chair. Well, replace Juno with our girl Snappy, the Sunny D with a sippy cup of milk and the Sex Chair with Ralph's dish and you have what went on in our house for about twenty minutes this morningish. I call it morningish because Snaps didn't get her cute little bum out of bed (mine...of course) until after 11. Those of you that know her, know that she sometimes likes to sleep in all Auntie Mame-like, but it was the Auntie Mame-like world-weary hang-over that gave me pause.

What could be wrong? She seemed so full of angst! Was she wondering why that toddler didn't want to play with her that one time? Or did she finally realize that the cat really doesn't like her? Is she contemplating the existence of Mom? Or...Oh no! Is it some terrible disease that only House can diagnose after about an hours worth of dramatic content?

She decided to take a nap on my shoulder. I continued to worry. Suddenly! She lifted her head. She looked at me with eyes that said "Emergency! Call 9-11! I've done it before, I'll show you how!" Then she puked all over me.

I felt a little dumb for not figuring it out the first time, but I guess that the angsty world-shattering pathos of an unwanted pregnancy during the teen years is probably the same as a bit of an upset tummy during the toddler years.

Here are my treatments for the Juno Flu (patent pending)

Water, kitty, puke sheet, Yo Gabba Gabba

Dry toast, crayons, more water, more Yo Gabba Gabba

Lots and lots of rest

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Snappy n Pee Wee Sittin' in a tree!

So, one of Dadmonster's best friends rented out the Red Vic for her birthday for an 11am pajama party featuring the epic cinematic masterpiece Pee Wee's Big Adventure. Snappy's first movie theater! I was sure she would be naughty, so we tried to show up as late as possible. Since 11 am isn't pajama time for us, we changed into our pajamas before we left. I even wore my bunny slippers.

The Red Vic peeps were kind enough to realize that the crazy lady wearing pajamas and curlers in her hair standing outside with a toddler and a cellphone must be an invited guest and let us in. We were offered an array of breakfast treats including new-to-snappy treats: Pop Tarts and Fruit Loops. She couldn't believe her luck. She thought it was Halloween and Christmas all rolled into one. She calls this new holiday Brunchmasween.

So yes, Snaps is 20 months, not exactly prime movie watching age, but she did AWESOME! Okay, first she tripped in the dark and cried, but hey, who doesn't cry when they fall on their face? After that (and a brief trip to replenish the Fruit Loop supply) she did AWESOME. We sat on the stairs in the back, so she wasn't required to sit. That was key for the awesomeness. And the awesomeness was, indeed, awesome. She laughed when everyone else laughed. Clapped when everyone else clapped. Danced to all the music (even the Big Shoe Dance) and made kissy noises at the big Morgan Fairchild/ PW Herman love scene. Everyone agreed she had great timing (Snappy, not Morgan Fairchild...but she was okay). I think all movie theaters should have a run-around area (or in Snappy's case: twirl around) for toddlers.

Afterwards, me and Dadmonster carried her 12 blocks (it might have been 8, but I was promised the extra grumbling made it feel longer). Despite the fact that it was The Haight (home of the Red Guy), everyone stared at us. This made me realize we needed to take pictures. Note the sugar crash in this picture...and that Snappy is still clutching an empty bowl that once held her beloved TREASURE (aka Fruit Loops)!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Snap Yoga

Just a quick update of Snappenings:

Snappy hung out with Grandpa so we could do this weird thing called "going out". We went to a Vietnamese American Diner called...something like...The Americano Cafe. Being Americanos, we ordered the onion rings...not as good as the grilled cheese...and they have Iced Ovaltine!!! How cool is that?

Next, we went to Hocky Haven for a lovely cocktail. I had two sips of my Jack on the rocks and abandoned it because it was Jim Beam. Why do bars put Jim in the Jack bottle? Do they think we won't notice? We ALL notice. Nuts to Hockey Haven.

Then, best of all, We hit The Balboa for Juno. Which would be my favorite movie I've seen in years, even if I actually had seen a movie in years, and even if Bleeker weren't based on my college boyfriend. Thundercats Ho!

In Snapptastic news, Snappy has been relying upon me a little too heavily to label her world, still I must be doing something right because she sniffs all flowers and gives all cats kisses and treats (aaa-umph). She has perfected dance moves: the twirl, the thigh slap, the stompy-stomp, but is still working on the moonwalk. Oh, and just this morning she perfected the assisted hand stand.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Thursday, February 7, 2008

The Two Faces of Snappy

The cute side: When the bye-bye song* from It's a Big Big World comes on, she twirls. Cute. If she's in a good mood, she'll do it if you just sing it. Cute! Cute!

Not Cute: At 20 months, she is fully aware of the capabilities of TiVo (come on...she's not 19 months anymore) and demands that I replay the bye-bye song over and over and over and...over and she likes to watch the 4th and 5th viewing upside down. Damn you Snook you giant stoner sloth!

The cute side: When Snappy comes across something she likes or thinks is cute, she reacts to it much the way she reacts to the apex of all things cute and likable: Ralph the big fat growly hissy cat who thinks she is the antichrist. So yeah, she hugs and kisses and offers imaginary treats to all sorts of things; dogs, babies, stuffed animals, her dolly, Cookie Monster, Daddy's tummy, the laptop, Mommy's kitty cat earrings, pictures of cats, babies, doggies and duckies, her pink cowboy boots, her pajamas, and most recently mom's ring. When a baby kisses your ring, it's not just's hilarious. Everytime she does it, I say "Yes, kiss my ring because I am Pope of the apartment."

Not quite so cute: Last night she was watching The Colbert Report with me and her Auntie...when all of a sudden, she wanted somthing and she wanted it NOW!!!

"What? What? What? What? Oh. Stephen Colbert said the word "Pope" and now you have to kiss mommy's ring? Sure. Here you go." Okay. So it was kind of cute.

The OUTRAGEOUSLY cute side: Snappy in general and all the Snaptastic things she does.

The Not Cute at All Side: She hates to sleep, but gets very grouchy and tantrumy when she is tired. As does mom.

Even Less Cute: She has figured out the stove guard and has used this info to nearly burn the house down See pic.

*The world keeps spinning round and round it's true/We've had our time and now it's through/but you and I forever will be friends/we'll try to touch the sky where clouds never end/and you and I together in a Big Big World/we'll try to touch the sky in a Big Big World/ And we'll look for wonder all around/ and you'll find me hanging upside down/ you have to go I know it it's time/ so give me five/ this whole world is yours and mine