Thursday, August 23, 2012

Things That Suck: Swiffer Ads.

Seriously. Who is writing these Swiffer ads? Don Draper? Darren from Bewitched? They need to stop. Seriously. Look Darren and Don, I grew up back in the 70s when Calgon taught us that we were allowed to ignore traffic jams, screaming children and fat, grouchy bosses to take a warm scented bath at ANY TIME! We could bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan. And now you want to come at us with this shit that tells us we have to mop the floor before we can use the front door with the regular folks?

Oh...and that other one where the mom has to scrub the bathroom like she works for Joan Crawford before she can even THINK about getting into the tub? Fuck you, Swiffer. We're women, not medieval fucking serfs. You know what? I never thought I'd say this, but could you bring back those commercials where we are being stalked by our old cleaning supplies? Because I like that Player song. 

Ah! Yes. That's the stuff. It's funny because it's a mop...and not a real dude. Hilarious. But don't go thinking all is forgiven, Don! You either, Darren. I saw this shit on your Facebook page this morning. So...yeah. ...Fuck you.

"Is that a mirage or a guy doing housework?" ...Oh right. Because men don't clean. Ever.


Smurf said...

What great insight- I saw that one of the woman with the Swiffer squirt thing in the kitchen ad the other day and it actually struck me enough that I had a moment of... oh, that's right, in addition to all the other shit I have to do every day, I also am supposed to be mopping. And can't do other, more fun things, until the mopping is done. And only I, alone with my mop, will ever be responsible for keeping the linoleum mopped. And this is just the way it is. At least the ad makes the assumption that I can decide to go buy a fancy Swiffer on my own, even though I have a perfectly serviceable old fashioned mop and bucket taking up space in the garage. Also, there's that other one that sets the expectation I should be dusting IN BETWEEN the tchotchkes on the shelves. WTF, Swiffer?! Look what you just added to my (or the nice Brazilian gentleman I pay to come clean)'s plate!

Karen said...

Swiffer has noted who's winning the war on women, and it isn't us.

Deb said...

I liked the commercials where real people were pretending to be dirt or mud. I wanted to portray a dustbunny.