Parenting in the Trump era isn't going to be easy.
9/11
Kid: Kaepernick is a
jerk for not standing.
Me: People in this country have the right to protest, bunny.
Kid: He should be traded for...I can't believe I'm saying
this, but I'd rather have Russell Wilson.
10/1
Kid (in park, playing with a beetle): Can I put Beatrice down someone's shirt?
Me: No. Too mean.
Kid: Only if it was Donald Trump.
Girl on nearby blanket:
Donald Trump! Someone said Donald Trump!
Kid: Mom, why is that lady yelling Donald Trump?
Guy on blanket: (gasp) That girl just said, “why is that
lady yelling Donald Trump?”
Girl: Whoa! I'm a full blown lady now.
Kid: Mom. I just got
quoted.
10/08
Kid: I’m looking on Amazon for a tank.
Me: What are you going to do with a tank?
Kid: I'll do like the Trojans and drive it to Trump's house
as a peace offering.
10/25
Kid: Pack your Canada bags, Miss Kitty. Ham will be our new
bacon!
Miss Kitty: …
10/22
Kid: I just found out that Trump is going to win.
Me: No he's not, bunny.
Z: He is! And we are going to open our house to people who
don't have green cards. They can sleep in my bed.
Me: Where are you going to sleep?
Z: CANADA!
11/7
Kid: Hello, I’m a volunteer with Hillary’s campaign. I….
Voice in Ohio: Oh no! You’re Obamacare! Go away!
Kid: Thank you for your time. (hangs up) Mom! I got a
Hostile. What should I do? Call the police?
Me: No. Just click the hostile box and make the next call.
Kid: I think I should call the police.
11/8 8pm
Me: I’m going to keep you safe…no matter what.
Kid (trying not to cry):
But mom, my friends are going to be deported.
11/8 9pm
Me: What are you doing?
Kid (crying): I’m giving to Mockingjay symbol to America as my
final goodbye before I move to Canada.
Me: How many fingers are you holding up?
Kid: (pause) Three.
11/9
Me: They’re having a protest downtown.
Kid: Get your coat!
11/10
Questions from Girl Scout’s trip to City Hall: Is Donald
Trump going to build a wall? Why is some of the sand at Ocean Beach black? How
can you watch Donald Trump if he's in Washington?
11/13
Kid: Are you going to
move to Canada with me, Uncle Pauly?
Uncle: No. I’m going to stay and fight.
Kid: You can have my room. Please keep Roomy cleaner than I
did.
11/14
Kid (crying into my armpit): I’m scared, Mom.
Me: Don’t be scared. Most people in this country did not
vote for him. They either voted for Hillary or they didn’t vote at all. A lot
of those people are going to be fighting with us.
Kid (looking up before burying head again): I’m not
reassured.
Me (stroking her head, my fingers bumping along the two train-track
braids I’d put in that morning): I’m sorry, bunny.
12/14
Kid: (burying face in my pillow) Mom, I'm scared.
Me: Of what?
Kid: Of Trump.
Me: You don't have to be afraid. He has less power than you think, and a lot of really smart people are working hard against him.
Kid: Mom, he's going to bomb the S-H-I-T out of Syria.
Me: Who said that?
Kid: He did.
Me: Oh right.
12/14
Kid: (burying face in my pillow) Mom, I'm scared.
Me: Of what?
Kid: Of Trump.
Me: You don't have to be afraid. He has less power than you think, and a lot of really smart people are working hard against him.
Kid: Mom, he's going to bomb the S-H-I-T out of Syria.
Me: Who said that?
Kid: He did.
Me: Oh right.